remember that day i didnt go to school because i was having a hard day, and you came over and you let me talk to you and cry.. and you were just there for me.. you skipped school because i needed you. i miss that and i would hope that if i needed that again you would do that, but i dont know if you would. i just hope you would. imissyou..

I am so grateful for my dad and all that he does for me. Life without him is unimaginable. He is such a hard worker and he has and will always be a family man. the song family man by cragi campbell really does describe him.. he has always made sacrafices for us, and those around him. he is quick to serve and will always help anyone in need. he has been a huge example in my life. if i turned out a little bit like him i will be happy. you never realize what you have until its gone, and today i saw this video and it made me think.. what if that was my dad. i cant even imagine how someone could get through life without there dad.. especially to lose him in the way these people did. so young and not even a chance to say goodbye. my heart goes out to those who have lost there fathers.. i wouldnt be able to do it with out mine.

so inspiring..

some people are so strong, they seem to never give up. but they arent doing it alone. god is there with them helping them all along the way. he loves us.. and like the movies says "if you dont give up you cannot fail"

so.. i was cleaning my room and i stumbled across my efy journal. i read it and found tons of quotes that ireallylove. so im gonna share them!!

"everytime you feel the spirit right down what was said, where you were, and what it felt like" personally i think this is a brilliant plan..

"Act don't react" ever since efy i have always tried to do this. instead of doing things completly insane when i get upset i think about the situation and act in the smartest way possible. or atleast i try to.

"we should be on our knees morning and night pleading with God that we never lose our faith, our testimony, or our virtue"-Doug Callister

"you CAN change someones life"

"you always reflect the church and the savior" this is just a simple reminder that people are watching us and know who we are. we need to make sure we are good representatives of Christ.

"the use of the preistood is for others. a man's job is to be worthy to use it." i really like this one because i think the main reason of the preistood is to serve. i also think that was women it is important for us to have a good impact on men because we influence them so greatly.

"... we may sometimes be alone while among those of the world. we need not be lonely.." just another reminder that we are never alone.

"If you feel far from God, guess who moved?" i love this becasue it goes to show that it is always easy to have access to the savior we just have to be willing to go to him. he is always here for us wanting a relationship

"we all have spritual illness" this is so true. not one of us is perfect and we all have weak points. ex: pride, addiciton, ect.. the good part is we can be spritually healed.

"Come Unto Christ" it is as simple as that.
Steps to come unto christ
1. want it
2. take his name upon you (wear it well)
3/ change anything in your life that you can.
4. live the basics
"when your having a problem make your first step coming unto christ"

"the lord is always there no matter what you have done." sometimes its crazy to think that he is still there for everyone. including the rapist, the raped, the killers, the killed, the jerks, the angles, the gang bangers, the cops,  the abusers, the abused, etc... he is here for everyone.

"if we dont suffer the pain that comes from recognizing our own guilt, we will never feel enough pain to use the atonement to repent." we suffer for a reason... God isnt trying to tourcher us

"think about the sin and not doing it. if you do it then only think about the atonement."

"never lower your standards" set them high and never alter them for anything or anyone.

"let service be your sheild"

Six Destructive D's
1. doubt
2. discouragement
3. distraction
4. low diligence
5. disobediecne
6. disbelief

"no man can help another man without helping himself" i know this is true because when i help other people i think i feel better then they do. it makes me so happy

"The more you love the more youll find that life is good and friends are kind."

"the lord expects you to succeed and wants to hlep"
"limitless your potential, magnificent is your future.. he did not send you here to fail, he did not give you a life to waste it"-pres gordon b hinkley. this is my favorite quote. just reminds me im here for a reason and that reason is a good one.
"your destiny is greater than you can imagine"

"Pay attention to the small things, because thats how the spirit works"
"Gods delays arent alwasy denials"

"Let the eyes of the lord be your mirrior" we are all special in our own way. we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a king. dont let anybody else tell you otherwise.

"we want to do our very best and we cant do that without christ. so he had to do his very best, and he knew that" i love this one because we are all trying our best to make it and unlike christ we arent perfect. if he wasnt perfect we wouldnt have the atonement and we wouldnt be able to do our best. life would be meaningless.

"Be Strong, And Of Good Courage" Efy 2010
you changed my life efy.

your not alone.

These past few days I have been reminded of how fragile a heart really is and how easily it can break…

Like when your boyfriend dumps you

Like when a mother’s son has completely lost his way

Like when the person you love most decides they don’t want all the same things that you do

Like when someone close to us dies or someone we barely new

Like when your best friend puts you in last place behind everybody else

Like when you work your hardest for something and in the end it still wasn’t enough

Like when you want something more than anything and you can’t have it

Like when you don’t have enough money and your barely getting by

Like when you stop being friends with someone and they do everything they can to hurt you.

Like when we are bullied and our confidence level I is really low

The point is that almost anything or anyone can break your heart, and almost everything and everyone will… but all that really matters is how are you going to endure through it. The lord is here to help us through it all and he has felt all the pain we have felt. He knows what my broken heart feels like and that sick feeling I get in my stomach after crying way too hard. He knows what your heart feels like when you’re struggling to keep moving forward.. sometimes life is hard and that’s the way its supposed to be. Trials are here for our benefit and we almost never realize it till the hard times have past, but we do get past them. Trials are short in comparison to the eternity we will live in, and one trial no matter how big or small is worth taking your own life. One day we will get past it all, and never again will we feel pain or sorrow. Whenever your feeling so low that you feel you can’t carry on think of that day. Think of our heavenly father waiting with open arms, and all the laughter and happiness that day will bring. Think of all your loved one’s close around you with smiles on their faces too. Life is hard but we should never result to giving up. If you have the will, then there will be a way. God is looking out for us though so  just remember how loved you are by so many people around you and that even though a heart can break easy, it can be healed.

Like when you realize that it didn’t work with your boyfriend because you found something thats right for you

Like when you see someone get there life back on track

Like when you realize you’ll see a deceased loved one again someday

Like when your best friend finally realizes that you have been the one always there and they finally decide to put you first

Like when the person you love most decides your wants are the right thing to do, and that your more important than his wants

Like when a neighbor see’s you struggling and brings you dinner because they are there to support you

Like when you work hard for something you don’t get and realize all the stuff you have achieved along the way

Like when we realize what everyone else says doesn’t matter and we love ourselves for the way we are

Like when we realize that we are here for a reason, and we decide to keep moving forward

Today i was doing my seminary make up and was reminded of something... i know i always knew this but i never really hit me till just now. i was reading first joshua and a few things really stuck out to me like "I will be with thee: i will not fail thee, or forsake thee." and "be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest".. while reading these it occoured to me that in times we feel alone we are not. maybe why we feel so alone is that we dont feel worthy enough to feel his presence. he never leaves us alone. like the poem footprints in the sand says "it was then that i carried you" so in times that we hurt and feel like no one understands, he is walking along side of us in as much pain as we are.. and when we are hurting so bad that we cant move on he helps us find the strength to do so. that can only happen though if we feel his presence.. my goal is to always be worthy enough to feel that, so that when something too hard for me to handle on my own comes along i wont have to be lonely. God has the power to do anything. he can heal my broken heart, and wipe tears away from my eyes. he has given me everything and so i owe it to him. to serve him, and to always stand up for what i believe in. to be couragous in all things because he has my back. he is and always will watch it better then anyone i know. he knows what your dealing with all you have to do is kneel down and pray.

Life is hard, and its gonna through a few curve balls. God is always here for us... Just try to remember its going to get bad before it gets better, but your not going to hurt forever. There is always hope for anyone and everything.

Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.-dieter uchtdorf Very comforting to read right now... Thanks heavenly father for sending that my way.

because I have been given much I too must give

No matter  your circumstances, each of us has much to be grateful if we will stop and think of our blessings..  We are given a lot and all too often it is over looked. But really when we get on our knees at night we should thank him for what he has already given.. Not ask for him to give more. So many of us are too ungrateful  and far too greedy. I just don't think  we realize it. "What if god only let us keep the blessings that we thanked him for.." what would you still have tomorrow morning? Everything you still had, just enough to get you by, or nothing... You know there are more ways to thank him then by prayer... Because we all now if we sat there and thanked him for everything that prayer could go on for days (don't get me wrong.. not necessarily a bad thing). Another way we could thank him is service. Be a blessing for someone else. Because we have been given much we too must give. It's what the savior did.. "The love the Savior described is an active love. It is not manifested through large and heroic deeds but rather through simple acts of kindness and service." Russel m Ballard  I love this story. It has people willing to serve and a grateful man In 1918 Brother George Goates was a farmer who raised sugar beets in Lehi, Utah. Winter came early that year and froze much of his beet crop in the ground. For George and his young son Francis, the harvest was slow and difficult. Meanwhile, an influenza epidemic was raging. The dreaded disease claimed the lives of George’s son Charles and three of Charles’s small children—two little girls and a boy. In the course of only six days, a grieving George Goates made three separate trips to Ogden, Utah, to bring the bodies home for burial. At the end of this terrible interlude, George and Francis hitched up their wagon and headed back to the beet field. “[On the way] they passed wagon after wagon-load of beets being hauled to the factory and driven by neighborhood farmers. As they passed by, each driver would wave a greeting: ‘Hi ya, Uncle George,’ ‘Sure sorry, George,’ ‘Tough break, George,’ ‘You’ve got a lot of friends, George.’ “On the last wagon was … freckled-faced Jasper Rolfe. He waved a cheery greeting and called out: ‘That’s all of ‘em, Uncle George.’ “[Brother Goates] turned to Francis and said: ‘I wish it was all of ours.’ “When they arrived at the farm gate, Francis jumped down off the big red beet wagon and opened the gate as [his father] drove onto the field. [George] pulled up, stopped the team, … and scanned the field. … There wasn’t a sugar beet on the whole field. Then it dawned upon him what Jasper Rolfe meant when he called out: ‘That’s all of ‘em, Uncle George!’ “[George] got down off the wagon, picked up a handful of the rich, brown soil he loved so much, and then … a beet top, and he looked for a moment at these symbols of his labor, as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Then [he] sat down on a pile of beet tops—this man who brought four of his loved ones home for burial in the course of only six days; made caskets, dug graves, and even helped with the burial clothing—this amazing man who never faltered, nor flinched, nor wavered throughout this agonizing ordeal—sat down on a pile of beet tops and sobbed like a little child. “Then he arose, wiped his eyes, … looked up at the sky, and said: ‘Thanks, Father, for the elders of our ward.’” 1   Service is an amazing thing.. And so is being thankful.. So do both(:

And suddenly I become a part of your past I'm becoming the part that don't last I'm losing you and it's effortless

Your not that different after all... And in the end it still hurts

Kind of random but it's how I'm feeling unfortunately I've always known love to be simple and easy.. And life is just the thing that gets in the way... But I'm starting to think it isn't life anymore, maybe it's just me. It seems hard for people to love me, or to continuously love me.. I thought real love never changed, I guess I was wrong again. I really love this kid): he is the only boy that i could get to come to the bishop store house and do service with me, and come volunteer at my work just to spend more time with me, anytime or anything i needed he'd be there. I'm watching his love change for me right before my very eyes and I don't know what to do): I know we haven't been dating long but I have never wanted to keep something in my life so bad to see where it goes... He is so different, or so I thought. I thought this relationship would be better and different then the last one): but his love is changing for me too and pretty soon I will just be a thing in his past.. And that really hurts when you were hoping for the future): I'm starting to wonder if anyone will ever be able to love me forever, I honestly really doubt it and I can think or quite a few people who would agree. I'm not  lovable, I'm never enough, I'm never going to be enough for anyone especially him.  How can something go from so incredibly good to so incredibly bad so fast?): I would do whatever it takes to turn this around... But I don't think I'll get that chance. "But if you look close enough, you find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, I mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back."-Nathan Scott... I guess I'm just not lucky... I'll keep looking for that hope though, and it's what I'll hold on to): 

out with the old, in with the new(and much better)

hey... i just wanted to let you know that the things you do and say don't effect or hurt me anymore. im not going to let you hold me back, and im not going to miss what we had. because what we had sucked. we always fought, and i feel like you didnt give me the respect i deserve. why would i let that keep me form moving on. espically when i have found something this amazing. you know ive had other opportunities to move on, and i havent until now and i think it was probably for a good reason. after all everything does happen for a reason. i like this boy alot.. he is everything i ever wanted. he can take me shooting, fishing, four wheeling, camping, he plays baseball(mighty sexy), he treats me with ALOT of respect, he has a truck, we both call cuddling snuggling, and put alot of ice in our cups, he is always happy, he looks really good when he works, he show's up at my work and makes my day oh so much better, he has blue eyes that could get me to do anything he asked, he is super ticklish, which i love even if he wont let me tickle him, he actually listens to me, and its so cute when he focuses on something because its like nothing and no one is around, he is good at basketball, and looks good when he plays it, he drives stick and can hold my hand while doing it,  he makes me laugh, he has been there for me when i really needed a friend, he would do anything for me and im so thankful for that, he is good at pool, he tries to teach me but sometimes i can be stubborn, he is patient with me, my family loves him and they all get along, he is so cute with his niece, i love that little girl to death and so does he, there are so many things that he does that i love... even the simpliest things. like how he put up christmas lights because its my christmas wish that eveyrone would put them up, and i know if i asked him to he would go to every house he could and do that. so grateful for him...
so stupid i hope that the dumb ass mistakes i made with you help me treat him better, cause i know he will ALWAYS treat me way better then you ever will, or did.
i like this kid alot.. i hope things work out well(:
love ya sagey!

this boy is like a unicorn, i didnt know they existed.. one day ill find a boy who thinks like this... then ill take him and marry him. we will leave happily ever after. only because he will want me, for me.. not my body.

im a strong believer in not caring what people think. you should live your life the way you want, and not what others around you are doing. we should say, do, and think how we want, and not care how people judge us. what we should care about though is how it effects people. because the things we say, do, and think matters to someone, and it can hurt, change, or help someone. now we shouldnt care what people think, but we should care what heavenly father thinks. how do you think he would feel if you were hurting or changing someone for the worse because of things you said, did, or thought. everything happens for a reason and everything changes someone in some way, even if its in the tinest way imaginable. when you bully someone it effects them. when you help someone it effects them. when you ignore someone that can effect them too. we shouldnt wanna effect people for the worse, becuase you cant even imagine what they could possibly be going through. i found this video its really sad but i want to share it, just so you can see the effect of what someones words can do. maybe even your words.

whenever you think  of saying something mean, think again... because what you say does matter. so please make it for the better.

on youtube many people have made a response to jonah mowry's video sharing their story and telling him that it gets better. after watching them i was thinking... what would my response be.. and this is it

Hello Jonah.. My name is lauren.. i'm happy, just not all the time... sometimes things bring me down.. and sometimes i do things im not proud of... i've burnt myself, i have scars, emotional and physical... some other things im not proud of.. ive been the bully, and ive been the victim... i just want you to know being the bully hurts too.. sometimes we say things.. things we dont mean, and before we realize it its too late to take back... the things i regret the most are words i have used to intentionally hurt someone..  because ive been hurt by words too.. by my best friend.. it was hard for me, but i pushed through it... i said i dont need anyone but myself to be happy.. and i did it.. i started focusing on other things.. like school, my family, and just trying to be a good friend to everyone. instead of my own problems.. it gets better jonah.. i can already see a light at the end of the tunnel for you and me. stay strong kid, and keep your head up. it will all get better in time.