Truth is...

Truth is...

 Truth is I'm tired of coming in second 

Truth is I'm sick of not feeling good enough

Truth is I sometimes hurt.. Sometimes a lot 

Truth is I love my friends and family.. Even when they do things that bring me and my confidence down. 

Truth is I want to love everyone and I don't wanna judge

Truth is I like making new friends, and trying to be out going 

Truth is that's the hardest thing for me to do 

Truth is I wanna boy to like I wanna feel butterflies again. that little school girl feeling i love so much 

Truth is I feel alone a lot of the time and like I can't talk to anyone 

Truth is I know I can talk to my savior and that he knows the pain I'm feeling

Truth is I cry... I cry till it doesn't hurt anymore 

Truth is I hide the fact I cry because i am embarrassed  

Truth is I want to be a happy person. I want everyone to think of me as happy 

Truth is that isn't always easy for me to do

Truth is I wanna have fun while I'm still a kid

Truth is I don't wanna grow up and it scares the hell out of me

Truth is I'm thankful the atonement 

Truth is I'm sometimes tempted 

Truth is I sometimes give into temptation

Truth is I'm not perfect 

Truth is I'm only human

Truth is I'm doing the best I can 

live life through laughter.

today i learned alot about life and love.
i learned that life is too short
life can be full of happiness
and that love is unconditional.

on august 24 2011 a 25 year old daughter of god passed away from brain tumors. this beautiful women's name is lindsey kae robinson karr. despite her condition she was still the brightest and happiest girl you would ever see. she was kind to everyone around her and her love was unconditional.
from what i saw of lindsey she wasnt like anyone else.. she was happy no matter what the circumstances and that happiness was shared with others. even when she was ill she served everyon around her in anyway she could. her love was felt by everyone and in return she was loved as well.
at her funeral i had the opportunity to hear so many people talk about her and all the funny memeroies she made. she seemed to always be making everyone laugh. it was hard not to cry at her funeral cause she will truely be missed by all. it really is as if this world wont be the same without her bright eyes and radient smile. 
not only was she a good example to me, but her husband josh is amazing. her mother-in-law told a story about josh. how when he was four he saw his mom sick and wanted to stay home and take care of her. she told us how it was how he has always been, it was like he was meant to take care of her. she needed him and he needed her. she taught him how to love. she taught him what love is, and how actions speak louder then words. he served her as much as possible, and when it was time to say goodbye he learned he how to love her even more.
today was a sad but good day. the spirit was so strong and i know lindsey will be missed, she is loved, and she will be seen again one day. i can't wait to offically meet her. she changed the lives of many she didn't even know. she is the strongest, happiest, most beautiful girl i have ever seen. her influence on others to do good is so powerful. i want to be like her. i want to live life to the fullest, laugh uncontroablly, and love unconditionally.
"I have been blessed with the ability to see the humor in situations. To be able to laugh and to encourage those with me to laugh. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely days i when i cry as well. Yet i am able to move past the darker, gloomier clouds in my life and see sunshine. life is not so serious that we cant take a moment to enjoy blessings, or experience gratitude, or see the little funny things that happen on a daily basis. search for the erratic, the ironic, and the slapstick comedy of life. because you know what? Laughter truly is the best medicine." - lindsey kae robinson karr.
the thing i want to take most from lindsey is to live life throught laughter. there is never a good reason to be upset or grumpy so be happy.
R.I.P lindsey kae robinson carr
you will be missed.

her husband josh painted this amazing picture of her.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured-Presidnet Gordon B Hinkley

F.E.A.R.L.E.S.S. hahah

"be fearlesss. if you make only one resolution this year, let it be to live boldly. you control this moment. rather than cautiously test the water, dive straight into life with freeing abandon. imagine the person you want to be and the life you want to live, then simply commit to them. believe in yourself. embrace your beauty. discover a new passion. and whatever you do, wherever you go, don't be afraid to make a splash."

this years gonna be differnt. i have new expectations of myself. this year im not gonna care what people think of me im just gonna have fun. its my senior year and i want to live it fearless. often times when i hear the word fearless i think of someone who isnt scared of anything, but thats not true. becasue no one is fearless, we all have something that we are scared of. what it means to be fearless is to have courage. to do something no matter how scared you may be. courage is just fear holding on for a minute longer. something i have learned is we should always do what we are afraid to do. it could be being adventerous, or standing up for what we believe in but you should always do it. i dont want to look back on my life anymore and regret not doing the things i was too scared to do them.

just the other night thanks to my friend mareassa i did something fearless. something that i always wanted to do but thought i never would. it was a real eye opener to how i want this next year to be. its my senior year(my last year as a kid) i want to have fun. i want to make stupid mistakes. date LOTS of people. make new friends. not judge anyone. laugh way too much. cry all too little. forget about all the drama. realize that nothing really matters that much. years from now were gonna look back on all this drama and realize it was stupid and there was no need for it. well im ready for that now. i dont wanna grow up, but after this year i know im gonna have to. i will have fun and i wont let drama get in the way of that. i wont hate someone just because one of my friends does. ill be nice to everyone becuase there is never a good reason to be mean.
im ready to let go of everything and move forward being fearless. i want to be young and stupid because we only have one lifetime to do so. im ready to take chances. ready to say love me or hate me thats your choice, but i won't let it effect me. im ready to love myself, and every single person around me. im ready to not be so shy. im ready for this year. its going to be the best and i wont let anything get in the way of that. im gonna move forward being fearless.

and i dont know how it gets better then this

you take my hand and drag me head first

FEARLESS

and i dont know why but with you id dance in a storm

in my best dress

FEARLESS

i think a girl who really understands about being fearlesss is taylor swift. she is one amazing girl. i look up to her so much (as do several other teenage girls) . i love her. so this year i dare you to be daring. i dare you to be yourself, and love everyone regardless of what people think. i dare you to be happy. i dare you to live your life the way you want to.

Tender Mercies

we are sournded by tender mercies of the lord. they are all around us.
"But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverence."
tender mercies are not just coincidence. heavenly father sends them to us at exactly the right tima and exactly the right place. tender mercies are differnt for each of us. a tender mercy is a personaly blessing made individually for us. it is strength to help us through things. or simple reminders that he loves and cares for us. it is a comfort.
well last week during fast and testimony meeting brother don wharton got up and said "are you aware of tender mercies even when it hurts." its true though. when we lose someone we love do we dwell on the loss or the blessing they were to our lives. sometimes it can be hard ot see the positive but heavenly father sends us those tender mercies for a reason. so that when we can barely take anymore that one little thing keeps pushing us forward.
it got me thinking... what are some of my tender mercies.

repenting and being forgiven of sins
a boy i had good memories with who unexpectedly left
my dog who is there whenever i need a friend
driving with the windows down which so easily relieves my stress
friends who are there for me whenever i need a shoulder to cry on
work that takes my mind off things
a family that makes me laugh
the opportunity i have to get an education
going camping and enjoying gods creations around me
getting to know people who came into my life even though they left way too fast
country music that helps me express myself
the dream of one day being a cowgirl

the list goes on and on. it amazes me that god can send me so many tender mercies. they are the smallest and simplest things but they mean the world to me.  it amazes my how heavnly father knows exactly what i need to brighten my day. im so grateful for tender mercies, especailly when im sad cause that's when i really need it the most.

proud of you

missionary-someone who leaves their families for two years so that others may be with theirs for Eternity.

i just want to say how grateful i am for worthy preisthood holders in my life and all the wonderful boys around be that have been or are going on missions. wednesday morning one of my close friends derek collins leaves to go into the mtc. i am sad, but happy as well. i know he is giong to be a great missionary and bring many people to the knowledge of christ. i went to his farewell and he gave an amazing talk he shared a story that i really enjoyed and i would like to share it as well...

HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE
By Elder Troy Whittle,
Texas, Houston Mission
The alarm rings at 6:30; I stumble to my feet.
I grab my companion's bedding and pull off his sheet.
A groan fills the room, is it already time to arise?
It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.
The morning activities follow - study, prayer, and such.
When it's time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven't accomplished much.
"We have a super day planned," my comp says with a grin.
I lowly utter a faithless breath, "Yeah, if anyone lets us in."
With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street
Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat.
It's 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through;
My companion and I are riding home, not accomplishing what we thought to do.
We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot.
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate "Air Box."
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete.
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet.
It's past 10:30 PM, my companion is fast asleep.
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep.
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray;
I need to talk to Father, but I'm not sure what to say.
"Oh, Father," I begin, "What happened to us today?
I thought we'd teach somebody, but everyone was away.
My hands, my aching hands - worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we'd have knocked every street."
"Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike.
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me.
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes; It's very hard to see."
"Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn't your protection enough?
People always laugh at me and call me stupid stuff.
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack;
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back."
"And what about my family? They don't have much to say,
I'm sick of not hearing from home, day after day after day.
Oh Father, why am I here, am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I'm sorry but that's on my mind."
"My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?
The way he rides his bicycle, I don't think he can see.
Now you have it, I can't go on, I don't know what to do;
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for You."
My prayer now finished I stand up, then jump right into bed.
I need my rest for tomorrow; we have another long day ahead.
Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away,
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time and another day.
I'm standing alone on the hill, the view is very nice;
A man walks towards me and says, "My name is Jesus Christ."
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet,
"Arise," He states, "Follow Me to the shade - you and I need to speak."
My attention's toward the Savior, total and complete.
He says, "Your mission is similar of what happened to Me,
I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through;
In fact it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you."
"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you.
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do.
I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet;
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn't equipped with 21 speeds."
"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate;
I remember when I sweat blood from every pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don't like your companion - you'd rather have someone else.
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth."
"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you.
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews.
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack.
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back."
"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day.
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way.
It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see;
I lost my communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken Me."
He embraced me with His arms, His light filled me with His love,
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above.
I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head,
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed.
My companion let out a groan, "6:30 already, no way!"
I sat up and said, "Come on, I'll even carry your scriptures today!"
No matter what we go through, when we feel we can't take more,
Just stop and think about Jesus Christ, He has been there before.

sometimes i dont think we realize how much really has been and is sacraficed for this church. christ suffered a great deal for us and i will always be grateful that i can use the atonement becuase of him
it isn't easy being a  missionary yet its the best two years of most young mens lifes. sometimes the hardest things in life mean the most to us. i can garuntee though that the sacrifice is worth it. "if Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him."-C.T. Studd  i love this quote because its so true. if Jesus can suffer for all of our sins then i can sure do anything i can to repay him. i am just thankful for the boys in my life doing that or who have done that.

Elder Derek Scott Collins... Imma miss you! thanks for being such a good friend. work just isnt the same without you. gonna miss all the fun times we had, cant wait to make more memories in two years. thanks for being such a good example and listening when i needed someone to listen. thanks for the advice you gave, and the jokes you cracked. ill write you, and draw you pictures and such... cant wait to see you in two years. miss ya already. - laur.

someone else im also very proud of.. Austin Wood. he is now in the marines and i just got my first letter from him a few days ago. very grateful for boys like him willing to go out and serve/protect our country. it is not easy. they need the best so training is hard. i look up to him for what he is doing. i came across a poem the other day that reminded me of him..

If I ever go to war

If I ever go to war Mom, Please don’t be afraid.

There are some things I must do, To keep the promise that I made.

I’m sure there will be some heartache, And I know that you’ll cry tears,

But your son is a Soldier now, Mom, There is nothing you should fear.

If I ever go to war Dad, I know that you’ll be strong.

But you won’t have to worry, Cause you taught me right from wrong.

You kept me firmly on the ground, yet still taught me how to fly.

Your son is a Soldier now Dad, I love you Hooah, Even if I die.

If I ever go to war Bro, There are some things I want to say.

You’ve always had my back, and I know it’s my time to repay.

You’ll always be my daybreak, through all of life’s dark clouds,

Your brother is a Soldier now, Bro, I promise I’ll make you proud.

If I ever go to war Sis, don’t you worry bout me,

I always looked out for you, but I can't do that anymore,

Cause I'm a big bro to all in America.

I love you so much and you know that, Your brothers a soldier now Sis,

So wipe your eyes, I'll be fine even if I die.

If I ever go to war my Friends, We’ll never be apart,

Though we may not meet again, I’ll hold you in my heart.

Remember all the times we had, Don’t let your memories cease,

Your friend is a Soldier now, Dear Friend, And I’ll die to bring you peace.

And when I go to heaven, And see that pearly gate,

I’ll gladly decline entrance, Then stand my post and wait.

I’m sorry Sir I can’t come in, I’m sort of in a bind,

You see I’m still a Soldier Sir, So I can’t leave them behind.

we really do recieve so much service from the young men in our days. either it s a mission or serveing the country either way im very gratful. love you aust and derek!!! thanks for all you do to help me. you boys are like brothers. you mean the world to me.

My Future Is Bright

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.
When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?!
This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.
So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know."

the thing i hate about getting older is people always ask what do you wanna be when you grow up, where do you wanna go to school, what do you want to study, and in all honesty i dont know. when ever i am asked these questions a sick feeling enters my stomach. well one night after i had been  asked these questions i was doing my daily scripture study. i was reading a talk by thomas s monson called be of good cheer. as i was reading it i came across something that i really liked and was very comforting. it said "my beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. be of good cheer. the future is as bright as your faith." after reading this a calming feeling came over me. as long as i keep my faith strong my future will have a good ending. so what am i going to do to keep my faith strong? im gonna follow the five steps to happiness

the five steps to happiness
one.set standards
two.pray
three.read scriptures
four.go to church
five.serve

now im excited for the future and i dont care what it brings because i know i will be fine no matter what. my faith is strong so i KNOW my future will be bright. i hope i never forget this.
now its not such a scary thing to think about growing up. especially when i know heavenly father will be with me every step of the way. if i ever dont know what to do all i simply have to do is kneel down.
even though im not scared for the future i still wonder what it holds for me. will i have to work or will i be a stay at home mom like ive always dreamed of being. who will my husband be..do i alreay know him? will my wedding day be perfect, or will almost everything go completely wrong. i guess only time can tell.
i want my husband to be a worthy preisthood holder who can take me to the temple. i wont settle for anything less. i always see newly weds and they are so cute. i hope people think that of me when i walk in to sacrament holding my hubby's hand. i hope he is worhty at all times to give me a preisthood blessing and always stays strong in the church. i want him to respect everyone and not care what everyone else thinks of him. i want him to be a happy person who makes me happy as well. i want him to be my best friend. i want him to bring out the best in me. i want him to be patient and slow to anger. i want him to notice the small and simple things like i do that mean the world to me.  i want him to take me on dates atleast once a week. and we HAVE to go to the temple every week as well. the way you get closer to your spouse is by becoming closer to god.
i hope im a cool mom and that my kids friends like me. i hope my kids feel comfortable telling me anything they need i hope they know i will love them no matter what. i hope im a good mom and teach my kids what they need to know. i hope they stay strong in the church. "There is no greater joy then to know my children walk in faith." i want to teach my kids how to be hard workers, that honesty is the best policy, and that if they ever need one im there for them and so i christ. i hope my kids will know how to show their emotions and express themselves. i hope my family always has what they need. and maybe even sometimes what they want.
i hope for the best. which is what we all hope for the best. but im going to have the best because jesus christ and heavenly father will be on my side. yea im gonna have trials. we all will. it is just a test of our faith, but  if we remain strong with that faith our future will only be better. even if i dont have everything i hope for in my future i know it will be great. because your future is only as bright as your faith. and mine seems to just keep getting brighter!!(;

hmmm..this weekend

this weekend my family went camping, and i learned something about myself. i am a very easy girl to please. the smallest things can make me happy. like driving slow on a old dirt road, windows down, and country music playing softly in the background. having my brother teach me how to drive a shift four wheeler, or having him drive me around on the four wheeler scaring the pants off me. going fishing. going hiking. watching the sunrise/suset. a sweet, innocent kiss. sitting by a campfire. looking at the stars. playing with my best friend max. hearing the birds chirp in the morning when i wake up. holding hands with a cute boy. basically what im getting at is heavenly father gives us so many beautiful things that we can enjoy. most of them are free too. it bugs me(and i know it shouldn't but it does) when people drive fast through canyons. you drive past so many beautiful things and you don't even take the time to look. we need to learn to enjoy the simple things and realize we don't NEED money to have fun. you don't need anything except for yourself. go on a walk and notice all the beauty around you. green leaves on a tree, pretty flowers, blue sky, the list goes on and on. sometimes all we really need to do is slow down. take a few minutes to enjoy things instead of always being in a hurry.  life it too short to not realize all the beauty god has placed around you.

life. that is something else i learned alot about this weekend. our neighbors that we went with their dog of 12 years died monday afternoon. i have known this dog for 11 years and feel like he was one of my own. it just seems like he should still be here. he has always been a good dog and it is going to be weird not seeing him around the neighborhood. i feel bad for jim(dad of the neighbor family) buck was his best friend for 12 years): its hard to even lose a best friend you've had for a year, so i can't even imagine 12. the kids were all sad. we made him a grave, and most of us cried. r.i.p buck-a-roo  you will be dearly missed. even though i am sad he is gone. it was a good place for him to go. out in the wilderness were he loved so much to be. can't wait till i can see him in heaven again some day. i remember one day mareassa mayo and i were fighting over a stick(lame i know, but we were having fun) when buck came over. we feaked out because we thought it was a bear. i also remember playing fetch with buck(he loved that) and the stick got stuck in the tree and he would not leave that tree till he got that stick out. and he did. he was very determined. something that i should try to be more. keep trying until i get the job done. one reason i was so sad about buckie is because as we laid him to rest, memories flooded my mind of when we buried our dog ridge. unlike buck ridges death was unexpected. he got hit by a car. when i first found out it didn't sink in. not till i got home and he wasn't there wagging his tail when i walked in the door. it killed me to see him go. alot of people may think that's dumb and that he was just a dog. but he meant alot to me. he was the dog that would lick the tears from my face when i cried. i truely believe god sent him into my family to comfort me in my time of need. even if he was only here for a short time. i also believe that ridge dying(and the many dogs we have had before him) helped me or will help me. losing the dogs we have had has taught me how to grieve, which isn't always a bad thing. if we never felt sadness we would never know happiness.

i know this is kind of random and im just rambling. but this is what i learned this weekend and i wanted to share it.

Change.

Change- The result of alteration or modification.

" Any change, even change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."

Things are constantly changing, and as time goes on people change too. Some for bad, and some for good. Most the time we don't even realize that we have changed, until it is mentioned, or we realize what we are doing. I am okay with change. Change in all things is sweet. In fact I think it is a good thing that we change, even if it is for the bad. Because when we change for the bad we learn things, and learn about the worst person we can be, and we strive to be better. Or atleast I do. I have seen the worst person I can be (or pretty close to the worst) and I don't like that me. I want to be different, I want to change. I want to strive to "be the change i want to see in the world."  The changes I want to see in the world are hard workers, service, kindness, respectful, and of course honesty. I strive to be these things, and I am working on changing to be that way, but it isn't alwasy easy. One day im sure ill get the hang of it.

Sometimes it can be hard to see people change. It hurts sometimes to see them change for the worst, and then watch them leave your life. There has been one person in my life that has been the hardest to see change and leave, especailly because I feel i was the one who changed him for the worst. It can be hard feeling like you screwed up someone else's life. We have to remember though that it was their choice to change, and only they can decide. We can have a big influence but in the end the choice is ALWAYS theirs. I pray for him still, I pray for alot of people who aren't apart of my life anymore. I pray that maybe one day they will change again, only this time for soemthing bettter.  I hope for the best for them.

If your going to change it MUST be for yourself. You are the only person you should change for. No one else should be the determining factor. If you think the change will make you happier/better person/or just plain good then do it. What do you have to lose? So what if it is hard, it will be worth it! I know that for a fact, I speak from experience.

Just try your best. Be the best you that you can be, and realize that, that is something you should never be ashamed of.

Honesty Is THE Best Policy.

Honesty is the best policy. This is a phrase I have heard several times, but how many of us acctually live it?
Being honest isn't always easy, in fact alot of the time it can be hard or maybe even scary. It is however always worth it. Dishonesty brings us down, makes us feel guilty, and can sometimes be just as hard as telling the truth. Like they always say, if you tell a lie it can be hard to keep your story straight, and very hard to get out of.
"Every act of dishonesty has at least two victims: the one we think is the victim, and the perpetrator as well. Each little dishonesty makes another little rotten spot somewhere in the perpratrator's psyche."

 Now I know I have told my fair share of lies, and as I look back on them I feel regret, and ashamed. Some of the lies I have told are things I just cant get out of my head. They haunt me and I think about them alot. Even though I have told lies I also know I have told alot more truths, which makes me feel a little bit better.
What does honesty mean anyway? To me there are 4 main things to being completely honesty. They are...
1.Being truthful to others
2.Being truthful to yourself
3.Doing what's right regardless of who is around.
4.Being someone others can trust.

These are the things I want to be. I want to be marked by truth, so that everyone I come into contact with knows that they can trust me. I want people to feel secure with me and know that no matter what I will be real with them. From now on i want to put honesty first. I want it to be my first priority, put it before everything else. I want to be genuine, sweet, and honest. Not just with certain people either. With EVERYONE.  "Honest hearts produce honest actions."-Brigham Young

We must also be honest in our work. This means working to the best of your ability to earn your wages. This isnt always easy, somedays we dont want to work at all. I try to work as hard as i can in all that i do. This means no goofing off, no texting, etc. There is a time and a place for everything and its your job to realize when things are and aren't appropriate.

The time i remember being honest the most was in Mr. Mecham's Biology class with my friend Tiff Allen. Mr. Mecham as old and never noticed that almost everyone in the whole class would cheat. So Tiff being the amazing girl that she is started a IWNC club. We would write IWNC on our hand as a reminder that we would be honest, and try our hardest. Sometimes it was tempting to cheat when we didn't study, but the important thing is we didn't. I often think back on this experience and wonder if Tiff wasn't in that class would I have been strong enough to not cheat on my own? I would like to say yes, but in all honesty I know that i wouldn't have. That is something that has to change. Im not always going to have someone holding my hand the whole way. I have to become strong by myself and have the cour to really stand up and be honest, even when no one else did.

Honesty isn't just what we say, it is about what we do too. Actions speak louder then words so it really is true you need to have integrity in all that you do. And it is almost NEVER easy to do that. Satan wants to make it as hard as possible, he wants  you to feel that pressure to cheat, lie, steal, or whatever it may be. We just have to be strong enough to say  no. I know I want to be honest. When people think of me I want to be thought of as "Lauren Hone Marked by Truth." I want to be trustworthy. I want people to know that if I did something wrong  I will confess to it no matter what it may be.
"Every one of us lives just once; if we are honest, to live once is enough."

Life is all about the choices and attitude. Make the right choices, keep a posative attitude. Remember honesty truely is the best policy and im striving to live that way. Honesty in all that I do.

Overcoming Opposition

We all have struggles and problems. Each and every single one of us. They may be health problems, emotional problems, mental problems, social problems, or even maybe spiritual problems. They are all there for a reason. Often times when we struggle we ask "Why me?" Well I say why not you, God gave you this to help you, in one way or another it is here for your benefit. Yes I will admit I have asked "Why me?" too many times too count, but I can also count blessings that came from those trials as well.

This is what we talked about in church today. Something that was also brought up was why a butterfly can not simply turn from a catapillar to a butterfly, and why it must go throught the proccess of a crysalis and cacoon. It was said that a butterfly must work it's own way out of a cacoon, even though it is hard for it. The reason for this is so that the butterfly can one day fly. If the butterfly just simply fell out of the cacoon it would not develope the strenght in it's wings to be able to fly. Instead it must us its wings and try its hardest to break free. This makes the butterfly stronger.

Us going through trials is kind of like being a butterfly. That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I read something from President Thomas S, Monson that i really like. It says:

"Life is FULL of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required."

What this means to me is that we have to be patient, wait for the trial to pass, and learn as much as we can along the way. God is always there to help us when we need him all we simply have to do is pray. He loves us, and will NEVER give us more then we can handle. He can see the big picture. He knows our limits alot better then we do, and he will push us so that we can be better. "Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over till the moment you stop trying."

Put the Past Behind You.

mistake - a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention

-Swami Sivananda : "Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future."


I have made pleanty of mistakes, and I know i will continue to make many more. All I really hope for is that I am not dumb enough to do the same thing over and over again. I want to be smart enough to know that something is wrong, and not let it happen again.
-Proverb : "By ignorance we mistake, and by mistakes we learn"
I not only wanna be smart enough to learn from my mistakes, but also learn from others. I also hope that my own mistakes aren't just for my benefit, but others as well. This is why I would like to share my mistakes. So maybe someday  others will learn/benefit from them. At least then my mistakes won't be completely pointless.

1. Steady dating in high school. NOT WORTH IT!!! I know we hear that all the time, but take it from someone who knows. I wouldn't say i wasted two years on one boy, because I did gain some good memories. But i could have had alot more, with alot of different people too. Steady dating in high school only leads to trouble, pain, and heartache. There is a simple solution. Don't do it. Date around and have fun. Kiss a boy, kiss a few. Your never gonna get the chance to be in high school again, your never gonna be this young and foolish. Make a few small mistakes, and learn from them. Date every boy/girl you can, becuase your not gonna get chances like these every again. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

2. Act don't React. High school drama has many times caused me to react instead of acting. And it is so dumb. The drama now that will not even matter in the future has caused my to make choices to tear people down, and accuse them of being in the wrong. Maybe they were, but so was I. We need to learn to act and just walk away. Instead of reacting and having a tizzy fit. We have to take a step back, look at the story from both sides, and realize that it really isn't worth it. The prettiest lips speak only kind words. I haven't always been good at that. I have said rude things to people i feel hurt or threatend by, but that doesn't make it okay. I want to be remembered as the sweetheart girl who was nice to everyone. Hopefully i still have time to fix that.

3. ALWAYS be worthy to have a temple reccomend. Going to the temple is so important, and it sucks when you can not go.  If you aren't worthy to go then fix it! Do whatever it takes and i promise you that its worth it. Do not give into temptation and sin. Think about not sinning, and once you have sinned do whatever it takes to fix it, The temple is a beautiful place and you should go as often as you can. Even if you cant go inside, then go to the temple grounds. The lords spirit dwells out there too.

Those were some mistakes I have lived and learned from, but i would like to but the negative things from them in the past, and hopefully those i meet can do the same, because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes.

You have to over look what people have done in the past, and learn to love them for who they have become. Put your past behind you, and do the same for otheres.

I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus.

I am constantly working hard at trying to be like Jesus, and it isn't easy. I know I'm not perfect like him, and i know I will mess up(A LOT), but I think it should count for something that I truely am trying.
I have met many people in my life who also have this as their number one goal, and they have been huge examples for me. They may not know it, but things they have said have truely changed my life forever. Their impact on me has been huge. As I think about this it helps me realize what a big deal it is that I am an example of Christ. Because I never know who's life I will change for the better.
If i am constantly trying to live like Christ it is going to effect everyone around me. Christ was nice to everyone, and if im trying to be like him I will be that too. That means smiling and waving to those you don't know on the street, because you dont know what they are going through. That means service, and alot of it too!! It means loving everyone as Jesus has loved you, and Happiness. Being happy is very important. With a good attitude you will uplift those around you. instead of bringing them down. Everything will always turn out better if you have a smile on your face, and a good attitude.
Christ was always loving, forgiving, teaching, serving, grateful, happy, and that is the way i am striving to be.

Im trying to be like Jesus
Im following in his ways
Im trying to love as he did
In all that i do and say
At times i am tempted to make a wrong choice

But i try and listen as the still small voice whispers
Love one another as Jesus loves you
Try to show kindness in all that you do
Be thankful and loving in deed and in thought
For these are the things Jesus Taught.

Here is a talk I read that is definetly worth your time.
Jesus A Perfect Leader by Spencer W. Kimball