out with the old, in with the new(and much better)

hey... i just wanted to let you know that the things you do and say don't effect or hurt me anymore. im not going to let you hold me back, and im not going to miss what we had. because what we had sucked. we always fought, and i feel like you didnt give me the respect i deserve. why would i let that keep me form moving on. espically when i have found something this amazing. you know ive had other opportunities to move on, and i havent until now and i think it was probably for a good reason. after all everything does happen for a reason. i like this boy alot.. he is everything i ever wanted. he can take me shooting, fishing, four wheeling, camping, he plays baseball(mighty sexy), he treats me with ALOT of respect, he has a truck, we both call cuddling snuggling, and put alot of ice in our cups, he is always happy, he looks really good when he works, he show's up at my work and makes my day oh so much better, he has blue eyes that could get me to do anything he asked, he is super ticklish, which i love even if he wont let me tickle him, he actually listens to me, and its so cute when he focuses on something because its like nothing and no one is around, he is good at basketball, and looks good when he plays it, he drives stick and can hold my hand while doing it,  he makes me laugh, he has been there for me when i really needed a friend, he would do anything for me and im so thankful for that, he is good at pool, he tries to teach me but sometimes i can be stubborn, he is patient with me, my family loves him and they all get along, he is so cute with his niece, i love that little girl to death and so does he, there are so many things that he does that i love... even the simpliest things. like how he put up christmas lights because its my christmas wish that eveyrone would put them up, and i know if i asked him to he would go to every house he could and do that. so grateful for him...
so stupid i hope that the dumb ass mistakes i made with you help me treat him better, cause i know he will ALWAYS treat me way better then you ever will, or did.
i like this kid alot.. i hope things work out well(:
love ya sagey!

this boy is like a unicorn, i didnt know they existed.. one day ill find a boy who thinks like this... then ill take him and marry him. we will leave happily ever after. only because he will want me, for me.. not my body.

im a strong believer in not caring what people think. you should live your life the way you want, and not what others around you are doing. we should say, do, and think how we want, and not care how people judge us. what we should care about though is how it effects people. because the things we say, do, and think matters to someone, and it can hurt, change, or help someone. now we shouldnt care what people think, but we should care what heavenly father thinks. how do you think he would feel if you were hurting or changing someone for the worse because of things you said, did, or thought. everything happens for a reason and everything changes someone in some way, even if its in the tinest way imaginable. when you bully someone it effects them. when you help someone it effects them. when you ignore someone that can effect them too. we shouldnt wanna effect people for the worse, becuase you cant even imagine what they could possibly be going through. i found this video its really sad but i want to share it, just so you can see the effect of what someones words can do. maybe even your words.

whenever you think  of saying something mean, think again... because what you say does matter. so please make it for the better.

on youtube many people have made a response to jonah mowry's video sharing their story and telling him that it gets better. after watching them i was thinking... what would my response be.. and this is it

Hello Jonah.. My name is lauren.. i'm happy, just not all the time... sometimes things bring me down.. and sometimes i do things im not proud of... i've burnt myself, i have scars, emotional and physical... some other things im not proud of.. ive been the bully, and ive been the victim... i just want you to know being the bully hurts too.. sometimes we say things.. things we dont mean, and before we realize it its too late to take back... the things i regret the most are words i have used to intentionally hurt someone..  because ive been hurt by words too.. by my best friend.. it was hard for me, but i pushed through it... i said i dont need anyone but myself to be happy.. and i did it.. i started focusing on other things.. like school, my family, and just trying to be a good friend to everyone. instead of my own problems.. it gets better jonah.. i can already see a light at the end of the tunnel for you and me. stay strong kid, and keep your head up. it will all get better in time.