he has been so cute lately, it's like all of the sudden things have completely changed. when two people hurt me who i thought never would did he was there for me.. he stood up for me and let me know how much he loves me.. and it meant a lot. lately he ask me how things are going and he makes sure that i am alright. he gives me hugs goodbye and tells me that he loves me, and he has no idea how much it means to me. right now he is exactly what i need. i wish i had my best friend to tell her about all the cute and simple things he says and does, but i dont. he is really the only one i can talk to about everything. it amazes me how fast things can change, and how bad the things people say can hurt.

today i saw a kid i used to know in jr high. he used to be such a good, he made such good choices. when i saw him today i was shocked. i never thought he'd be the one to do drugs. it doesnt make him a bad kid. it just makes me wonder what happened in his life to get him to that point. then i started thinking about my own life. i thought about my trials and how my life would be different if i had never experienced them. or even just how i handled my trials. at what point did they completely break me, and at won't point did i decide i was stronger than that and ready to try again. or what if when they broke me i never got back up. what kind of life would i be living, what path would i be on? it is crazy what defines us, and who can have influences on us.

something else i was thinking about today, i read a quote and it made me realize something. "Thats the thing about people who mean everything they say. they think everyone else does too."-Amir from the kite runner. i was thinking maybe people like that know you dont mean it, but if you have to lie to them to make yourself feel better then maybe they just let you get away with it. thats what i do. when someone lies to me, i usually know it. i just let them get away with it becasue if they need that to build them up, then why would i want to tear them down. i try to always give people the beneifit of the doubt and it hurts when they take advantage of that.

this is completely random, but its how i feel lately.